A few things have been weighing on my mind lately and that is how short life really is.
Last month I was involved in a car accident which took my whole perspective on life for a loop. Before i got in my car accident, i was so care free. I hardly wore my seat belt ever which my husband hated. I also took many things for granted, like my husband, my friends and family. I hardly made the effort to involve much of my family or friends in my life. I figured I was too busy to reach out to them. That day changed my life I dare say, Hallie and I were driving home, I was going about fifty five miles per hour with no seat belt. It all happened so quick, this young man had pulled out right in front of me seriously leaving me no time to stop. The moment i knew I was going to hit him was the scariest fear I've had. My first thought was Hallie my sweet little girl sleeping in the back seat. My second thought was Josh and my third thought was i'm going to die. The words "shit" came out of my mouth as i hit this other car, i turned my head and closed my eyes as i heard everything from the car crumbling in the front, the air bags going off and in the back seat something hitting my chair.
Once the air bag hit me, the only thought was Hallie, and what i felt hit the back of my seat, which was were Hallie was sitting. The moment i heard Hallie crying i got myself together and jumped out the car so quick to reach her. She had the trunk lip right over her head, she seemed okay. I quickly grabbed her out of the car seat and as i turned around i had Jiffy Lubes employees right by my side helping me into there building. A man with his young daughter followed us in, he sat down right next to me and Hallie as we both were in tears. He began to ask how Hallie was and if he could check her out because he was a doctor. I didn't even get to ask his name, but he was so sweet to help Hallie and make sure she was okay. A few other men came in with my purse and cell phone and Hallie's stuffed animal, one guy was even trying to make her laugh. I tried as hard i could to get it all together for Hallie and seem like I was tough, but the moment my Husband showed up, I broke down. Twenty minutes after the accident Hallie was doing finE and running around and seemed like her usual self, so our in laws came and got her as Josh took me to the hospital to get checked out. The cop kept insisting that I go get checked out seeing as when an air bag deploys its going 200 miles per hour, I won't try to sound tough at all in this because in no way was i tough.
My whole body hurt and felt like i ran into a brick wall. Josh wanted to take me to the hospital instead of the ambulance and if i could do it all over again i would have rode in the ambulance, not just for the experience, but the second Josh started driving, I hyperventilated and broke down. It was like going through something traumatic and than me feeling like it was gonna happen again, even trying to close my eyes while he drove wasn't helping, I could picture the whole crash replaying in my head over and over.. The whole time he kept talking to me, holding my hand and telling me how grateful he was that i was still here. It sounds so cliche but i feel like i saw my life flash before my eyes. i feel incredibly blessed, especially for me being an irresponsible idiot for not wearing my seat belt. I couldn't believe the love and support I got from people, that cared so much about Hallie and I. Friends that i haven't talked to in years reached out. Seriously life is so short, we lose so many people whether its due to an illness or an accident we should never take others for granted, we should always be wanting to better ourselves and help others. My husband has been the biggest blessing my life! Marriage is hard, but this experience has helped both myself and him show how lucky we are to have each other and our Hallie. Since this has happened i'm trying my hardest to be there for people and better myself and enjoy every moment in life.
Time to go eat some cake! mmm..
